Today, we celebrate our freedoms as envisioned by the Founding Fathers. In North Korea, the imprisonment of Laura Ling and Euna Lee is just one more mockery of that country’s constitution.
That’s right – North Korea has an actual constitution, amended and expanded on September 5th, 1998 from previous versions struck in 1948 and 1972. The document lays out 166 Articles which, when perused in light of the rogue state’s development of nuclear weapons, abduction of foreign nationals, flouting of the United Nations and mistreatment of its citizens, reads like nothing so much as the kind of fakery Ling–Lee supporter @aplusk used to anchor the antics of his 2003–2007 MTV series Punk’d.
Article 67 of DPRK‘s Socialist Constitution decrees that “Citizens are guaranteed freedom of speech, of the press, of assembly, demonstration and association;” Article 69 proclaims that “Citizens are entitled to submit complaints and petitions;” Article 75 promises that “Citizens shall have freedom to reside in and travel to any place;” and so on. All that’s missing from these and many of the other jaw-dropping Articles is an asterisked footnote to the effect that the pursuit of any of these guaranteed DPRK freedoms will land North Korean citizens FUBAR in a labor camp.
So, on this grandest of American holidays, peruse the kooky Korean Konstitution and weep. Weep tears of joy, that is. Because although the United States has recently struggled to uphold some of our Constitution’s storied amendments, this is still a place where had a trio of North Korean journalists tried on March 17th, 2009 to enter the country without proper permission, they would almost certainly today be back home.